Nerve vs. Nice

“It’s not enough to be nice in life. You’ve got to have nerve.” — Georgia O’Keeffe

When I look at this photo, Georgia O’Keeffe is seeing right through me and gently screaming, “What are you waiting for?”

In the moments of my busy life, my keeping up with a niceness persona feels good. I don’t want to disappoint others. I love my friends and family, and feeling loved feels comforting. I also don’t want to miss out on life — the events and invites in my life seem so exciting. I feed off of learning and staying curious. I hate to say no.

And yet — O’Keeffe’s words sting truth. Being nice won’t get me to my studio to create art and make my YouTube films. I need to feel the nerve — the nerve to guard and schedule my time, to see friends and family less, to decline some teaching gigs — so I can lead with more nerve and prioritize my goals.

I need to feel that visceral nerve sensation. The power of the no — even though I want to say yes.

It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.

O’Keeffe didn’t become O’Keeffe by pleasing everyone. She became O’Keeffe by choosing — fiercely and repeatedly — to protect and express her vision.

You? Do you lead with nice, or nerve?